When no where to express, blogging is my place

Facebook is a daily part of my life but today, if i express anything in FB; it  might be hold against me. Hence, this blogging.

Life does not allow us to choose life. It didnt give me a chance to make choice when i really really wanted to. When i was born I feel like my whole life is already scripted right in front of me.

When things goes wrong  (now it is really really going into the wrong way), I can't look up to anyone for comfort. Sometimes, people says that God sees your cries and needs and today I am wondering does He? I'm hurt, alone. afraid and confuse and I don't have anyone beside me. It isn't fair at all.....

When company is all I need and if i have one, I can't  even express my feelings. In this world all that you express, say and do must be of good for others and not myself. WHY? I don't get this justification, that you could and say anything you want BUT I can't. and if I do, that means I'm still leaving in my past/ I'm not moving forward or even that I'm not forgiving.... 

~ROSE ~

Mum2daughter

Dear future daughter,

I will pick you up everytime you cry,
Make you smile by doing funny faces,
Change you when you're dirty,
Will not leave your side for the first 7 years of your life and teach you how to read and write, 
Buy you toys, books and lovely clothes,
Will put you to bed or let you sneak in with daddy and mummy,
Will treat you equally with my sons (will never introduce gender biases)
Will listen to your complains,
Will try to answer all the WHY questions eventhough its silly,
To guide in God's path and be a women after His own heart,
Will accept when you change as a teenage girl,
Will teach responsibitites for your actions,


Will come for all your sports day and support you,
Will stand by you when somone bullies you in school (will make sure that your brothers protect you),
Will not scold when you fail, but encourage you to pass,
We'll definately celebrate your success in everything!
Will hug you tight at night when you break up with one of your boyfriend in your younger age,
Will listen to your crazy stories about school, mean teachers, and guys that seem to be too hot to resist in your eyes,
Willnot judge your friends but to get to know as them,
Be helpful with your other friends who needs someone too,
Will celebrate your birthday the way you want it (in which with freedom comes responsibility)

I will do the same for anyone who calls me mum, mummy, mother and what's not coz I know what it feels like to not have one..... <3

I LOVE

I LOVE colors,
I LOVE ice-creams,
I LOVE the rain,
I LOVE  fruits,
I LOVE to play rubiks,
I LOVE  Tuesdays since I was young,
I LOVE children and Sunday School,
I LOVE  cards,
I LOVE arts,
I LOVE horlicks + milo,
I LOVE to talk,
I LOVE dresses,
I LOVE the field,
I LOVE to teach,
I LOVE to cook and bake,
I LOVE to travel,
I LOVE road trips and food,
I LOVE to hug and cuddle,
I LOVE  dogs,
I LOVE LIFE.