A Cry From The Abused

My counselor gave this to me, and I thought that it would be cool to share it to others:

Sexual abuse is the ultimate form of being used

Its is a denial of self with all rights refused

I can’t even trust myself, the abuser or you

Of me- a part of my heart

It tales away from my will to survive

It makes me doubt why you even care

In fact, it makes me question everything-everywhere

I feel like giving up the lasting I have

The hope instilled by God above

The unconditional love,

Life’s philosophy seems like it’s been taken from me

I often wish restitution

Or anything that might be a resolution

I need an answer; whole or in part,

To stop the aching in my heart

I want once more to forgive

And to pass from this stage and live

To be free from the weights

And the semicomatose states

To be loosed from the guilt and reason

And to know the abuse only lasted for a season

                                -anonymous sexual abuse survivor

You know what I think? I think what the survivors said is true. Sometimes you just feel the way you feel and you also feel that people do not understand you. I've written myself another one that does not contradicts what it says above. Instead, it emphasis how God can mightily work in people's lives and change lives. I survived, and I'm not ashamed to tell you that. I know many people survived and They inspired me. I determined to survive, just why there is no suicidal thoughts or whatsoever.  I had God, the living and unconditional Loving God.... I remembered the faces that loves me ALL the time when I felt unworthy. sometimes, a part of me just too scared to face reality, but God had always made it possible. I've gone through this for a reason. No on can break me, in fact nothing can break me anymore.

walking away from the past,
closing up the wounds,
I only want to move forward,
Never want to fall back again.

Oh Lord; my life is in your hand,
My breathe; my everything,
Only You make me secure,
and only You wipe the tears.

I stand before you o lord,
Tested through all my life,
Here I kneel before Your holy presence,
Knowing that You're my creator.

I've been waiting for something real too happen,
I need you; God in my journey,
To fulfill Your purpose,
and I give up my life for Your kingdom.

this was my prayer and cry for the pain that I've gone through.